OK KitNoters, I suppose you’re ready for my report back from the launch conference of the Socialist Youth Network. You are jostling around in your seat, uncontrollably excited at the stories of who said what, who threw a chair at who, were Communist Students really banned and how many people were denounced as imperialists. Are you ready?
“We’re always ready, Kit!”
That’s my KitNoters. I’m so proud of you. I have trained you well.
But, for a hardened lefty trainspotter/sectarian (delete as per your political perspective/whether or not you like me), the SYN conference was a bit of a disappointment. Because, for a left wing event, everyone was relatively calm, civil and we actually managed to finish on time.
Like I say, a huge disappointment.
The motions which were brought forth to the conference of mighty beings (well, young lefties anyway) and the list of National Executive Committee members (I always thought that ‘NEC’ is a bit of a crap acronym because it makes me think of the electronics company) have been uploaded by yours truly and are there for all to see, in their bureauctatic nakedness. Look at them. Marvel at them. Then kick yourself, repeatidly (steel toe caps are optional) for not being at the conference and not being a SYN member. Then spend five of your English Pounds to join (so long as [a] you’re actually young, i.e. under 30 and [b] you’re either a member of the Labour Party or none at all). And then get your arse in gear.
Needless to say, my accendency to the position of Disabilities Officer was unchallenged; my mere late candidacy being enough to see off any pretenders to the crown. I mean, they might as well have brought a throne in and coronated me. Right there, on the platform. I know it may seem a bit extravagant, but it’s no less than I deserve. Right?
Important people were also there, too. Unfortunatly, because of a cruel fate not looking down upon me with a smile, I was late, so I missed John McDonnell’s opening speech. It’s amazing; I’m involved in his campaign, built SYN etc but I’ve never actually heard the guy speak. Though I did manage to hear Tony Benn speak just before lunch. As much as I respect Benn, who is the exception to the rule that people get more right wing as they get older, the guy needs to get a new script. The quip that he “got out of parliament to spend more time in politics” is smile-breaking when you first hear it, but after a while, you just think “Yeah, yeah, Tony, whatever.” Another Bennism – that “there are too many socialist parties but not enough socialists in the Labour Party” is actually true, but that’s because [a] some people like the thill of the split (it’s sort of like S&M for socialists), and [b] most of ‘em got banned, so even if they did try to join, they’d just get their forms back with “HAHAHAHAHA” written all over them in biro. Still, Benn seems to have this grandfather-esque quality about him. If the Labour left were an advert for Worthers’ Original, then he would be the kind, smiling grandad who gives the sweets to his grandson (that’s us, by the way).
Katy Clark MP also made a speech about the process in Latin America and how socialists should support it. I’d like to think that, because I’m so important on the left and that whatever I say has an earth-shattering effect, she was directing her Chavisimo directly at me (due to the massive barney I caused on the SYN email list and thus getting an earful from Socialist Appeal and Socialist Action about how I am a ‘counter-revolutionary’ and ‘left cover for imperialism’ – pah, you’re going to have to do better than that comrades) but perhaps I’m over-inflating my ego again.
I won’t go on and on, because other people – noticably Mike, Marsha and Jon have also written reports on the day and it saves me the effort of typing it out, trying to remember even a quarter of it, and being serious about it.
Afterwards, I got drunk in ULU, and then went for a curry with Communist Students. After that, it was all a bit of a blur.
